Do you ever feel like you are an asshole?
And like you try really hard not to be an asshole, keeping the lid on your assholery as much as possible because of all the external messages you get from those around you when you let your personality roam free, free as a bird that not-so-much you? You know when sometimes you accidentally forget to not be yourself, and the you say things, and then you are an asshole and then you just have to wait for the moment that inevitably comes when someone has to sit down and tell you what an asshole you are and please stop being you. Please stop being a smart ass. Please stop having an ego. Please be anything else but you, because you are annoying and possibly evil. So you push your pesonality down, smashing it like a giant fluffy sleeping bag into the tiny travel case it came out of but will never go back in, push, push, smoosh, smoosh, until you are just frustrated and tired and give up and cry and withdrawl into yourself and begin once more to pause for a second, push down your personality, run thoughts through a filter, speak slowly trying not to be an asshole, and repeat.
No?
Me either. (smoosh, smoosh, smoosh)